Legal Notice.
Last updated: Never. But possibly any day. The cat decides.
1. Who We Are
PadlockCat is a fictional company of useless products founded by a cat. We have no company registration number because the cat ate the form. Our registered office is "wherever the cat currently is".
2. Product Liability
Our products are sold as is — that is, completely useless but with an unforgettable design. We accept no liability if the toilet brush holder fails to resolve your existential problems. We never promised it would.
If the product arrives broken, it was probably the cat. We accept returns but will be very disappointed in you.
3. Intellectual Property
All designs, the cat-padlock logo, text, and images of useless products are the exclusive property of PadlockCat and the cat. Reproduction without the explicit consent of the cat is prohibited. Said consent may be difficult to obtain as the cat sleeps 16–20 hours a day.
4. Returns Policy
We accept returns within 30 days, 60 days, or never, depending on the cat's mood. To initiate a return, write your complaint on a piece of paper, fold it into the shape of a cat, and keep it to yourself.
5. Governing Law
These terms are governed by the laws of PadlockCat, which are mostly unwritten. In the event of a dispute, the final decision rests with the cat. The cat's decision is final, arbitrary, and subject to change if a red laser dot appears.
6. Amendments
We reserve the right to amend these terms at any time, particularly if the cat gets bored. Amendments take effect immediately without notice. Continued purchase of useless products constitutes acceptance.